07-20-2004, 10:51 PM
"No, I don't."
His reply was in a sobered tone. His mask was a personal item to him. It did more than keep his facial features concealed, it shield him from having to repeat the pain and deception he had experienced before. It kept them out, kept them distant. And yet, part of him felt guilty for it. Most of them had tried to help, especially Victoria, and the mask rejected that kindness, that friendship. It was that guilt that caused him to add to reply.
"But maybe I will, some day."
Peter pushed such thoughts aside, remembering the reason he had come out here in the first place. He had been watching Victoria and listening closely to her as she spoke her frustrations.
"I understand what you're trying to say Victoria and I don't deject you for having such thoughts. You have a right to feel angry, so does every former Nomad. And you're right, it isn't fair. It isn't fair that we were lied to on such a huge scale. It isn't fair that Scott and Sam and the others were all killed for a needless cause. It isn't fair that their loved ones will never see them again. It isn't fair that whole races, religions, and even worlds are persecuted for being who they are. It isn't fair that the rich and corrupt remain in power and in control while the just and the pure have to fight just to survive. It isn't fair that day after day, righteous and loving people have to go through hell, while others who deserve such a fate get away without a scratch. Life isn't fair and it's foolish to convince yourself otherwise."
He paused for a moment and shifted his weight onto his legs, so that his hands were free from the task of having to support his body on the wall.
"But that's the hand we've been dealt. Those are the cards we've been given. We can't exchange them for new ones. We can't change the past and erase pains we've had to go through. We have no control over that. What we do have control over is how we use them, how we let them affect our lives. We can let our agony get them better of us, consume us in all its hate and contempt. We can stay angry forever for having to go through such suffering. But in the end, it'll accomplish nothing. You will have wasted your life away, staying angry and never moving on, doing something with your life. However, we can choose to play our cards to our advantage. Your pain has helped reinforce how much your family and friends back home mean to you. By experiencing such pain, you've become stronger. You're familiar with it and you'll know how deal with it in the future."
He paused again before continuing.
"You can have two homeless men, each of equally poor economic and soical status. You can be like the first, who does nothing but complain about his life, thus trapping himself in a never ending circle of misery, or you can be like the second, who realizes his situation and does his best to improve upon it, tying to make the best of what life has given him. The point I'm trying to make is you can't alter what's happened. You can't erase the pain. But you decide how it's going to affect your life. You decide how to play the hand you've been dealt."
He watched her expression as he finished his speech, wandering how she would react to it. He hoped he had provided the comfort and help she needed instead of being an annoyance.
"Look, Victoria, I know we're not as close as you are with Hank or Tessa or Paige and I'm not the most social person in the group, but if you ever get frustrated again, and you need someone to listen to you blow off steam, feel free to pull me aside."
His reply was in a sobered tone. His mask was a personal item to him. It did more than keep his facial features concealed, it shield him from having to repeat the pain and deception he had experienced before. It kept them out, kept them distant. And yet, part of him felt guilty for it. Most of them had tried to help, especially Victoria, and the mask rejected that kindness, that friendship. It was that guilt that caused him to add to reply.
"But maybe I will, some day."
Peter pushed such thoughts aside, remembering the reason he had come out here in the first place. He had been watching Victoria and listening closely to her as she spoke her frustrations.
"I understand what you're trying to say Victoria and I don't deject you for having such thoughts. You have a right to feel angry, so does every former Nomad. And you're right, it isn't fair. It isn't fair that we were lied to on such a huge scale. It isn't fair that Scott and Sam and the others were all killed for a needless cause. It isn't fair that their loved ones will never see them again. It isn't fair that whole races, religions, and even worlds are persecuted for being who they are. It isn't fair that the rich and corrupt remain in power and in control while the just and the pure have to fight just to survive. It isn't fair that day after day, righteous and loving people have to go through hell, while others who deserve such a fate get away without a scratch. Life isn't fair and it's foolish to convince yourself otherwise."
He paused for a moment and shifted his weight onto his legs, so that his hands were free from the task of having to support his body on the wall.
"But that's the hand we've been dealt. Those are the cards we've been given. We can't exchange them for new ones. We can't change the past and erase pains we've had to go through. We have no control over that. What we do have control over is how we use them, how we let them affect our lives. We can let our agony get them better of us, consume us in all its hate and contempt. We can stay angry forever for having to go through such suffering. But in the end, it'll accomplish nothing. You will have wasted your life away, staying angry and never moving on, doing something with your life. However, we can choose to play our cards to our advantage. Your pain has helped reinforce how much your family and friends back home mean to you. By experiencing such pain, you've become stronger. You're familiar with it and you'll know how deal with it in the future."
He paused again before continuing.
"You can have two homeless men, each of equally poor economic and soical status. You can be like the first, who does nothing but complain about his life, thus trapping himself in a never ending circle of misery, or you can be like the second, who realizes his situation and does his best to improve upon it, tying to make the best of what life has given him. The point I'm trying to make is you can't alter what's happened. You can't erase the pain. But you decide how it's going to affect your life. You decide how to play the hand you've been dealt."
He watched her expression as he finished his speech, wandering how she would react to it. He hoped he had provided the comfort and help she needed instead of being an annoyance.
"Look, Victoria, I know we're not as close as you are with Hank or Tessa or Paige and I'm not the most social person in the group, but if you ever get frustrated again, and you need someone to listen to you blow off steam, feel free to pull me aside."