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Comedy Classics!!
#8
"Have you heard about the new hotpockets? They're called LEAN POCKETS. Yep, half the fat, ALLLLL the diarrhea." -Jim Gaffigan

"I've never felt good about the decision to eat a hot pocket. I've never been like, I'M GLAD I ATE THAT! It's alway more like, I'M GONNA DIE! MY BACK HURTS! DID I JUST EAT THAT, OR DID I RUB IT ON MY FACE?" -Jim Gaffigan
When life hands you lemons, you gotta squirt lemon juice and life's eye and make it your B!TCH
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