05-26-2005, 07:06 AM
âOh God.â Kei could feel her knees going weak and her vision blurring as she caught sight of AJâs bloodied hand, and she could feel the familiar itch of fear at the back of her neck. An intense need to be far away from her injured teammate was quickly setting in as her dark eyes began to search the room like a caged animal.
The surfer could quickly feel the breathlessness of a panic attack, and she was powerless to stop it. Kei tried breathing deeper, and it wasnât working, which only made the fear intensify; she knew that seconds from now she would lose the ability to communicate properly.
She was mentally kicking herself for not properly preparing her teammates to deal with the side effects of her phobias. She had never been any good at calming herself down; she had always needed Marco or Carly to help her through it, and now neither of them were here to bring her back down to a sane level of thought. Kei could feel her mouth drying up, as the edges of her vision started to darken rapidly.
âNeedâ¦Air.â She managed to wheeze out between short breaths, as she sat down heavily on the floor. Kei only hoped somebody would catch the symptoms and help her out; this was definitely making her feel like an invalid; 27 years old and she couldnât even keep a panic attack under control. An issue sheâd been dealing with her entire life, and it was getting the better of her. Right at the most inappropriate time, she felt like screaming, she felt like kicking herself for her lack of foresight into her own mental health situation.
Honestly, she felt like crying also, crying at the fact that she was supposed to be stronger than this. Wasnât that what Carly had always told her, that she was stronger than the phobias; stronger than the panic attacks caused by said phobias. If only it hadnât been blood, blood always triggered the worst attacks. Hell, she would have rather been face to face with a giant kewpie doll than have to see her teammates bloody injury.
Burying her face in her now quivering hands, she wished the floor would swallow her up and save her the embarrassment of being utterly incapable of controlling her own reactions to things. What would the others think? Would they think she was crazy? Would they even care? These were the thoughts that ran rampant between the thoughts and mental images of blood conjured up by her fearful mind. Yeah, she definitely needed to be back on a beach, hitting some perfect waves.
Maybe if she wished hard enough that would happen.
The surfer could quickly feel the breathlessness of a panic attack, and she was powerless to stop it. Kei tried breathing deeper, and it wasnât working, which only made the fear intensify; she knew that seconds from now she would lose the ability to communicate properly.
She was mentally kicking herself for not properly preparing her teammates to deal with the side effects of her phobias. She had never been any good at calming herself down; she had always needed Marco or Carly to help her through it, and now neither of them were here to bring her back down to a sane level of thought. Kei could feel her mouth drying up, as the edges of her vision started to darken rapidly.
âNeedâ¦Air.â She managed to wheeze out between short breaths, as she sat down heavily on the floor. Kei only hoped somebody would catch the symptoms and help her out; this was definitely making her feel like an invalid; 27 years old and she couldnât even keep a panic attack under control. An issue sheâd been dealing with her entire life, and it was getting the better of her. Right at the most inappropriate time, she felt like screaming, she felt like kicking herself for her lack of foresight into her own mental health situation.
Honestly, she felt like crying also, crying at the fact that she was supposed to be stronger than this. Wasnât that what Carly had always told her, that she was stronger than the phobias; stronger than the panic attacks caused by said phobias. If only it hadnât been blood, blood always triggered the worst attacks. Hell, she would have rather been face to face with a giant kewpie doll than have to see her teammates bloody injury.
Burying her face in her now quivering hands, she wished the floor would swallow her up and save her the embarrassment of being utterly incapable of controlling her own reactions to things. What would the others think? Would they think she was crazy? Would they even care? These were the thoughts that ran rampant between the thoughts and mental images of blood conjured up by her fearful mind. Yeah, she definitely needed to be back on a beach, hitting some perfect waves.
Maybe if she wished hard enough that would happen.
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